Date Rape

When talking about rape, most people still have a nightmare image of masked assailants jumping out of dark alleyways and dragging their helpless victims down into the depths from which they came. While stranger rape is a tragic reality for some victims, most rapes are committed by someone the victim knows.

One common misconception is that rape can't occur between two people that have been friends or intimate before, including husband and wife. The truth is that a rape occurs anytime one person forces a sexual act on another person against their will, regardless of any existing relationship between the rapist and the victim.

Another frequently heard misconception concerning date rape is that it is a "crime of sex" or "crime of passion." In truth, rape has very little to do with sex or passion. It is a brutal act of aggression that is performed by individuals as a means of violence, power, and control. One of the most disturbing things that some people say about survivors of rape and date rape is that maybe they were "asking for it" by dressing or speaking a certain way or even by drinking too much alcohol. No matter what happened or what course of action a person chose to take, victims of rape are not to be blamed. No one ever owes another person sex at any time and as soon as sex is forced upon another person, then a rape has occurred.

It can be especially difficult to identify the crime as rape for people that were involved in a relationship. No matter how blurry the line may appear, victims should always remember that a relationship involves a mutual respect for one another and that at no time during a friendship or an intimate relationship should anyone "owe" any sexual gratification to another person. No one asks to be raped and no one provokes sexual violence. Additionally, no person that truly cares about another will ever force them into a sexual situation.

Safety and Prevention

Even though there is absolutely no time at which a rape is the fault of the rape victim, there are certainly preventative measures that one can utilize in order to help keep themselves safe:

• Learn how to defend yourself. This can be in the form of a self-defense class that will instruct you on physical self-defense techniques that will give you precious seconds to get away from an attacker. Self-defense classes are also very useful at building your confidence and self-esteem.
• Try to always stick with a group of friends and look out for one another.
• Never hesitate to ask for assistance or to scream if you feel in danger. You can recover from a moment of embarrassment in a lot less time than what it would take to heal from rape and sexual abuse.
• If someone makes you feel uneasy, trust your instincts and eliminate any instances where you would find yourself alone with this person.
• Always be clear and concise with others in setting boundaries for your body. If you and someone else begin doing something that you are not sure about, don't hesitate to be firm in letting that person know that you are not ready.
• Keep yourself aware of your surroundings with a clear head. Alcohol and drugs can severely impair your judgment and your ability to keep yourself safe.

Avoid being alone with someone and meet in a public place until you are familiar with and trust a person. Especially avoid being alone with someone in secluded places.

Date Rape Drugs

Drugs play a role in many cases of date rape. Pharmaceutical agents such as gamma-hydroxybutrate (GHB), ketamine and rohypnol (roofies) are used to severely inebriate unsuspecting victims. The drugs are mixed with someone's drink to render them nearly unconscious so that they are not able to object and remember the events.

These drugs, when mixed with the intoxicating effects of alcohol, can possibly be lethal. Keep yourself safe by watching your drink at all times at parties and at bars and refrain from drinking from your glass if you have left it out of your sight.

If You're a Victim of Date Rape

A date rape can still happen even if someone is diligent in the attempt to keep themselves out of a bad situation. Here are some things that you can do if you are a victim of date rape:

• Call someone that you trust and feel safe with. Tell them what happened, and what they can do to help you.
• Do not hesitate to go to the emergency room immediately. Ask for one of the crisis counselors that have been trained to help and counsel rape victims.
• Do not hesitate to call the police and report the rape right away. Keep all of the physical evidence intact by refraining from washing or even changing clothes.

If you want to report the rape, it is helpful if you write down everything that you remember about the attack. There are statewide rape crisis centers that you can call if you are unsure about the first step you should take. Look up your state's chapter online or in the phone book for 24 hour-a-day assistance.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Sexually transmitted diseases affect more than 12 million Americans each year, many of whom are teenagers or young adults.

The more partners you have, the higher your chance of being exposed to HIV or other STDs. This is because it is difficult to know whether a person is infected, or has had sex with people who are more likely to be infected due to intravenous drug use or other risk factors.

Here are some good facts to keep in mind regarding STDs:

• STDs are common. 1 in 4 teenage girls and an equally alarming number of teen guys have an STD right now.
• STDs are treatable. All of them. Some are even curable.
• STDs are sneaky. Most of the time an STD doesn’t produce any symptoms.
• You cannot tell by looking at someone whether he or she is infected with HIV or another STD.
• Using drugs and alcohol increases your chances of getting STDs because these substances can interfere with your judgment and your ability to use a condom properly
• If you have had unprotected sex, you may have a STD and not know it.
• If your partner has had unprotected sex, your partner may have a STD and not know it.
• If left untreated, STDs can lead to long-term consequences, like infertility, long-term pain or cancer.

If you think you have a STD, there is something you can do about it! The only way to know for sure is to be tested.